The Cell-mate

Summary
The unnamed Cell-mate is one of the main characters in the SitcomPit series "Cooking Meth at Home" which follows two amateur meth dealers and their mis-haps. He is a fugitive on the run from the police despite wanting to become a television presenter. The exact reason why he was in jail has not been specified but it is revealed that he sodomised a squirrel which could be the reason. He is portrayed by Dan hargreaves.

Episode 2
Having not appeared in episode 1 he plays a considerable role in episode 2. After Brutus shot a customer on national TV and got arrested he became Brutus' cell-mate. It is in this episode that he has a small dispute with Brutus T. Dingus over Gary Whipdick's name which Brutus mistook for Dave. It is during this argument we find out that he has sodomised a squirrel but in his defence he states "that squirrel came on to me". Brutus then tells him he has a plan to escape.

After Brutus fails to break down the wall of the cell he pushes him aside and claims "you gotta charm the wall. You gotta seduce the wall". He rubs the wall sensually and claims it has lovely stonework. After he has done this a face appears on the wall and asks the Cell-mate and Brutus a riddle. "hat goeas a womph womph womph"? The Cell-mate takes a shot in the dark and responds "a helicopter"? The wall says it is close enough and claims he will let the prisoners out at noon.

Episode 3
After Brutus complains that the Wall has not kept its promise the Cell-mate tells him that he must have hallucinated the whole thing as they "smoked a lot of crack that night". He then tells Brutus that he will be breaking out on his own as he has a man on the inside. Brutus is not happy about this as he wants to break out to. The two depart on sour terms.

The Cell-mate is seen at the end of the episode after Gary Whipdick has been arrested and sent to Brutus' cell. He walks into the Casting Director's office and claims he is there for the job of hosting "Cooking Meth at Home". The episode ends there.

Episode 4
This episode has yet to be aired.

Style and Clothes
The Cell-mate always wears and orange prison jumpsuit, even after breaking out which suggests he has no other clothes or just likes the look. He has silver, puffy hair and a scoundrel moustache.

Characteristics
The Cell-mate is, by far, the most intelligent character in the whole series. Despite being strange and possibly mentally unstable he is the one who shows the most common sense. He is smart enough to break out of prison and is extremly cunning. He talks in a tone that seems very relaxed no matter what the circumstances are suggesting confidence. He has an American accent (leaning towards the south) and stands the tallest of the characters.

Notable Quotes
"Hey, that squirrel came on to me!"

"You gotta charm the wall, you gotta seduce the wall."

"What lovely stonework you have"

"I remember jack shit. We were high as kites"

"Oh, he's not getting you out."

"I'm here....for the job."

Chronological List of Appearances
Cooking Meth at Home Series:
 * Episode 2 - 6th August 2014 - Main Role
 * Episode 3 - 17th September 2014 - Main Role